Best Quotes Ever

"Mommy I'm mad that this is on the kindergarten setting on this game and it's hard!" The math problem was 94-8.  Umm Honey. That's not a kindergarten setting. That's the 2nd grade setting.






"Don't throw a pig at your sister's head."



"I never wanna brush my hair again. EVER.."  Dear. You have 3 miles of hair. It must be brushed at least once a day.


"I hate you because you broke your foot on purpose because you hate me!" Umm yes. That's correct. I did.


"I did it on purpose, but it was his fault." *scratches head*


"Do I have cauliflowers in my armpits yet?" Complete with armpit in face motion..

A Plan

So The Girl has been getting in to Trouble. Lots and lots of trouble. Epic amounts of trouble.  Went to OT and psych on Monday and that wasn't ANY HELP at all.  Sooooo off to the internet for help. How to help a stubborn, not able to control themselves kid? Apparently a self made sticker chart. I've been trying EVERYTHING lately I can think of to keep certain behaviors from happening and they just keep increasing in frequency. Clearly, said methods weren't working. Marbles have been taken away, privileges removed, time outs given, stern talking-tos, all with very poor outcomes and no long lasting results. And the things she's doing NEED to stop. She's been doing really inappropriate and, at times, dangerous, things. SOOOO a sticker chart. That she drew herself. And boy... Is it heinous. And for every 6 stickers she earns by NOT being naughty (as to be determined by mommy) she gets 1 marble. Now how to determine when someone is not being naughty? Yeah. I have no idea really either. I guess when she's not slapping her brother, clawing her skin off, climbing on the fence, climbing on something else she shouldn't, sprouting an attitude and having her head twirl like satan or any other of the numerous charming things she does.. She gets a pretty sparkly sticker.

And the random phrase I've had to say today is: "Ohhhh Honey. No.. We do not pet ostriches in the wild.. No. Not anywhere else either."

A Bleck Day

Let's just start off with ARGGGG Matey.. That sums up the day. Well it wasn't as bad as not being able to start the car, but it was more disheartening.

I went to the orthopedic doctor today and the cut of the purple cast, did x-rays, and examined them. Then the doctor pronounced that he couldn't find any REAL evidence of healing. MAYBE a little bit of slight haziness, but really not any, and the haziness was probably just the x-ray. Thanks Dr. McPositive.  He then declared I would be re-casted for 4 more weeks and then return to see him and HOPEFULLY some healing would be evident. Gee. Thanks once again Dr. McPositive.  So now I have Big Red. I must admit I have plans for Big Red. Big Red (also know as my Right Leg) is going to get gems hot glued and drawn on. Why? Why the hell not.. I really have nothing better to DO with this giant ass big red thing attached, apparently semi-permanently, on my leg. Now the real pisser, I've been SOOOOOO good. I've been eating the stupid dairy products even to my detriment. I've not walked on the damned thing AT ALL. I've kept it dry. I've kept it elevated. I've eaten healthy crap. Now it's just getting me angry at it.  I've even avoided ALL prednisone which is just a form of torture in allergy season for me. 

Then, later on our way home from the chiropractor, T1 closed her finger in the car door. I'm not talking a wee little "ohhh I closed my finger in the car doooooor." I'm talking " OHHHH SHIITTTT the car dooor is closed on the kid's freaking finger and she can't get it out". Let's just say we have figured out that Yes, yes you CAN hop across the entire garage on 1 foot with a 45 pound kid clinging like a monkey with a finger bleeding on you while said clinging monkey is screaming bloody murder.. After you hopped around the car to open the door to rescue said child from the car door. Yup.. Sure can. SHOULD YOU...? That, that is a different question entirely. But Boy howdy, it IS possibly and if highly motivated, very easy to do.

And yes, the finger is ok. She missed the joint AND the finger nail. She managed to hit right in between them. But OY..

A Weeks Update

So it's been 4 days since Jake "went to the vet" and the house is oddly calmer and quieter. Which is an indication the dog wasn't doing well IMO.  The other 2 dogs are coping OK and getting a lot more attention from 1 & 2 because they aren't afraid to go into the laundry room anymore and pet them (and I'll let them go in there). The cats are being fairly freaky though.. T1 is pretty sure we NEED another puppy RIGHT NOW - which just isn't going to happen. I can't walk. And I honestly don't think it's fair to Luke who is the other Great Dane and almost 8, to get a puppy and have Minnie and a puppy gang  up on him. Soo We will probably wait until Luke goes to get another dog and it will probably be a smaller breed so that T2 will not be as afraid of it. Poor boy is HORRIFIED of dogs..

1 & 2 lost TV and video games by being naughty today. I honestly thought there would be a bigger fuss about it, but after I explained that *IF* they threw fits about it there would a LONGER period of no TV, oddly there have been none.  (For some reason if a child responds to a mommy "No, I am NOT coming I am watching TV" in a nasty tone.. TV goes away.. Go figure). 

A lovely cherry to my day so far is as I was getting ready to go to an appointment at the chiropractor I couldn't find my keys. I hopped around on the stupid crutches until I found where my clearly levelheaded and thinking spouse buried them and hopped back to the car. Then.. As my children lovingly pointed out.. There were NO lights on in the car. So I tried it anyhow BUT.. yeah.. The car was.. D_E_A_D.  Soo I few disgruntled calls and AAA was on the way. And WOW they were fast. With in about half an hour the guy was here and test the battery (yup it was just dead) and jumped it. And off we went to drive around to charge it some.

And while we were driving, I found said spouses ID. WHY it was buried in my cup holder.. I still haven't figured that out.. But it was. SOOOO we then got to deliver it to him Downtown. Since none of these activities were in the activities planned for the day, a Happy Meal was then fetched and home we went.. To not watch TV and the wait for the AC guy to come and clean the filters..

I'm having a fun ol' time today.. Oy..

Tribute to a Dog..

So we've decided that we need to put the oldest of our dogs down. It's time. It NEEDS to be done, but it was an easy decision.  The dog has a tumor on his side the size of a golf ball. He's blind - at least half to full. He's going senile and he's HUGE. We cannot have a senile and blind dog around little kids. We just.. CANNOT. Plus, he's almost 10 years old. I got him when I was like.. 21ish. and I'm 30.. So he's 10ish which is pushing REALLY REALLY old for a Great Dane.  The thing that tipped the scale was yesterday the kids were going through the laundry room where their crate is to get to the garage and he snarled and growled at them. I'm not talking a little "oh.. was that a growl, maybe he was growling at the other dogs.." growl.. A full-fledged SNARL and GROWL. And to me, THAT WAS IT. The end.  I love my pets, but that's it. My kids come first. END OF STORY on that.

Now having to explain THAT to a special functioning 6 year old kid and a 4-1/5 year old boy is an interesting task. One detaches and has not let me touch her since the other has plastered his behind to me and has turned into a circus clown. To explain this euthanasia thing, I must admit I didn't. They are 6 and 4. We HAVE talked about it before in an abstract fashion because The Girl CAN understand it when it doesn't apply to HER or her loved things. BUT, this is not time for a "learning experience".  The Girl was sad. Of course she was sad. She's handling it very well though. I did have to go through it very very logically - step by step - why we are doing this and then ask her if she thought it was a fair choice, for us AND for Jake. And honestly, I think she can see why we are doing this AND agrees. She's obviously still sad, but can at least understand WHY we have to make this choice. 



Quite honestly when I mentioned how old Jake really IS, she said out of the blue how creepy it would be to find a dead dog in the laundry room. How how scary it would be if he snapped at her or her brother.  So we had the big talk this morning. The Boy on the other hand started giggling like a loon and acting like a circus clown and asking how much the vet was going to "pay" for him. Obviously that took some revisionary visits and a different approach. So, once that was corrected, he then started in on "tricks" to cheer The Girl up.

Conveniently enough, we then discovered that one of the cats was bleeding. Not a lot. Just a TINY cut on one of their paws. But by golly how I love distractions. It provided enough of a distraction that the sobbing subsided! Now, the cat is not wounded, it really IS a tiny, tiny cut on it's paw.

Soooo school is shot for the day and is clearly going to be put on hold as we are now watching Finding Nemo. Pretty sure after this we will be doing something else equally benign as The Girl is sitting in the fetal position in the rocking chair with her lovies avoiding an kind of personal contact what so ever..

Squirrel!

As I sit here, staring at the wall of odd things listening to the fish tank needing more water, I realize that I rarely have an actual topic in mind when I start these convoluted typings. I look at other blogs frequently that are well formatted and designed. They have great colors and topics and STAY on topic. I must admit, I can't seem to DO that without PLANNING to and, in my mind, that defeats the purpose of a "Blog". Obviously, these well organized, put together people are ahead of me in life, or they have a separate one where their minds explode in a spewing squirrel too. I'd SOOO love to see Bakarella's squirrel blog. Or Pioneer Woman's. The one where they DON'T get a bajillion people reading every single word the instant it is posted.

That IS one of the joys of having a very limited audience. No one cares that this is a squirrel blog. If I suddenly want to talk about how my kid randomly shoved her leg under her bed and scratched it to all heck.. Then I can, and most likely, the people who read it probably know me and realize.. This is just going to happen. 

I wonder how much money they make of those giant ass blogs too. I mean really, they HAVE to have some sort of "what's in it for me". Either by sponsorship from a product or money or SOMETHING. Curiosity man... It killed the cat..

Hoarders..

So, I'm watching Hoarders and I'm about to DIE laughing at this one comment this lady made. She said that "One day I got behind, and then it just got like this." The "this" was her house being completely impassible with her 4 kids living there. Really. Behind for 1 day!???! I'm behind by 2 weeks and MY house certainly isn't coming CLOSE to that level on nasty. I am still capable of putting my clothes in the hamper and my trash in the garbage can. And I can't walk right now. So THAT is suuuccchhh a bogus excuse.

OHHH or how about the one I saw last night where there were dead cat carcases EVERYWHERE. Like not freshly dead, but dry and crusty dead. One was even crustified to a power cord in it's deathedness. (Yup, just made that word up.) It was NASTY. And when they were cleaning up, a live possum -hissing with rage - came shooting out from under a dresser. It was AWESOME. How do you have a possum living in your house and not notice??

As you may have noticed the broken foot thing has left me a lot of time to watch odd TV shows. See.. This is what happens when Bethie gets bored. I watch Hoarders..



Anyhow, I go back to the orthopedic doctor tomorrow for more x-rays of the foot to see how it's healing. I'm HOPING it's done something. I've been SOOOOO good. Eating nasty yogurt - 3 of them a freaking day actually- haven't walked a single bit on it, taken the 4 calcium supplements per day, gone completely off the prednisone. I admit I'm gonna be a little sad if there isn't any change at all.

Then, as far as I know the plan right now, is they are going to re-cast the sucker in another big cast. If they do, which I'm pretty sure they will, they Tweedles have voted I choose a nice green color for it to be. *Rolls eyes* If it makes them happy. They've also requested to color on the new one as they have this purple one. Silly monkeys..

Obnoxious BUT.. Cute..

I know.. An oxymoron. But it's true, my children are obnoxious but cute at 5:30 a.m. Especially when I roll over, in the odd limited way I can with a giant cast on my leg, and realized I just elbowed The Girl in the head. She had snuck into my bed and plastered herself to my side at some point during the night. Then, in an attempt to give her more room, I nudge over to realize I almost tump The Boy on the floor on my other side who apparently has ALSO snuck in at some point. Now. I do really enjoy snuggling with my bunnies, but I didn't realize they had snuck into the bed and have NO idea how long they were there staring at me. THEN I realize there are 3 cats on various parts of my body lounging, purring, cuddling and doing the belly snuggles. I was fully covered in love. Now C had NO love. It's safe to say, I felt truly loved and yet.. WOW that was somewhat obnoxious at 5:30 a.m.

I wouldn't trade these morning cuddles for the life of me, and yet to be surprised and not know how I ended up with an extra 130 pounds in my bed trapping me, staring at me, laying on me is a little bizarre of a way to wake up.