Sunday, November 2, 2014

Scandal

So I guess I've pissed off a lot of people with my last post. Ironic eh? Not a single person has the balls to say a single thing to me, yet I know somehow *I* am in the wrong again. I'm sure there is a select group of people gossiping, giggling, chatting like some how *I* have done some deep harm. I guess if any one of those people had valued me as a friend they would have bothered to talk to me. The one post has been passed around over 70 time since I am writing this - in 3 days time. I know what I wrote. I wrote the truth.  I am hurt by people who were supposed to be my friends. I am glad I made the choices I did, because clearly, they are not the outstanding moral people I thought they were. I am ok with my choices.

I am ok with standing by my spouse and not cheating on him as he and I work through our issues together. I will not tell him to abandon his kids on a holiday. Ever. There are so many men who so willingly pass up time with their kids, I won't do it. I won't be that woman who sides with "friends" instead of my spouse.

So be mad at me. I'll take it. Lots of things get blamed on me. But real friends. True friends. Don't ask these things. They don't ask their friends to choose between them or their spouse. You lose. True friends don't take words said and warp them, spread them, gossip them.

I'm not worried about people being mad at me. I HAVE real friends, that don't run out and get all excited because there's new gossip to spread around. They are kind, respectful, and supportive of ME and what *I* need - which is usually just someone to hear me.

If I had intended to create a scandal, there are much better ways to do it.  I'm just done with this mess. I should be able to confide in a friend and not be crucified for it. I had always done the same for her. More so even. The betrayal is dumbfounding.

So, Sure. Pass this around. I'll be at fault. I'm used to it. But also know that your information is probably wrong. You probably don't know a damned thing that's going on.  I learned my lesson on that I won't choose between a "friend" who betrays people and my spouse. My spouse wins. Clearly, I've made the right choice. (Since we've talked he's made significant efforts to be a great spouse and father. ) Whatever story is being passed on against me is only one persons against me side. If they need a win so badly, go for it. I don't. I'm already so far lost, one more loss isn't gonna matter. I'm a horrible person with no friends because they all betray and hate me. Because  I chose to not cheat on my spouse and gossip and share false information about people who are supposed to be my friends. 

Yup. And I'm the loser. Maybe I just need better "friends".

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