Depression VS Anger

There's such a fine line when anger becomes depression and visa versa. When something happens (or someone does something) that angers you, maddens you so deeply - but really there isn't anything you can DO about it that could be deemed constructive - those are the things and actions that always toy with the anger/depression line.

 I had surgery Tuesday and am obviously starting to hit the apex of pain. Stitches are settling in, the tendon is doing whatever tendons do to reattach, nerves do whatever they do to heal (feel like they're on fire BTW).  *MY* plan had been to take a muscle relaxer, read a book, help the kids with their school some, lay around a LOT, let the 2 other grown-ups who live here be grown-ups and warm up one of the 450 freezer meals I already made, take the kids to their activities, clean the house, take care of the farm. Well. Hubby is trying really hard. He's been insulted and wronged by the other at his every attempt to do anything. So he doesn't even WANT to try to help (which he's just going to have to anyhow because - I only have 1 arm working) and the other *grown up* has been so blatantly sourly rude, it's not worth the breath to converse.

I understand that mental health is playing a large part in the case of the one. It always has in situations like these, but those who need the help always deny the need for it. ALWAYS. There is no point in arguing logic, there is none. They just want to argue. It's like when The Girl's meds are off. You cannot simply tell her that she should stop. She can't. Or trying to force The Boy to talk to people. People aren't meat puppets for us to dangle about. I guess that's the point of depression vs anger. I know what this person NEEDS. They are refusing to seek it and deeply hurting people on the way down.

Surgery and Recovery

I had surgery from an injury catching a guinea fowl and chicken. I tore the tendon in my left wrist and managed to get the ulnar nerve all twisted at the elbow and wrist.. So, surgery was at the elbow on the nerve, the wrist at the nerve and then on the tendon at the wrist. It's becoming obvious I have some kind of connective tissue disorder with how easily I get hurt. I can't use my arm at all right now, its a bit more challenging.  Hubby, C, is working from home to help take care of the farm, and get the kids to their activities, and make sure the house doesn't burn down while I randomly pass out from the meds. (And lets face it, we all want those to be taken.)

See, fell asleep 2 times already typing this. It's 3:30 in the afternoon.

So we're on week 6 of the new schooling plan. I've figured out a few key things:

• The Girl is brilliant, but lazy.  If there is a chance to procrastinate - she will.
• The Boy is behind  (as in, on par with his peers, not actually behind, behind) in spelling. He just needs a different approach, which we just haven't figured out yet.
• The Girl is motivated by nothing. It makes rewarding her very, very difficult. 

And on that, I'll take another nap. :)

Week 4

We just finished week 3 of our new scheduling and planning for the kids school. Can we say "Epic Failing"? Yes? Oh, because if we were failing ANY MORE we'd be at the bottom of a freaking river. *sigh*

Hi, I'm Beth. I'm a failure.

Anyhow, turns out the kids aren't too fond of their spelling, math, art (I may have found a new art curriculum to try..), history, story math problem, geography.. Shall I continue? They are also unfond of cleaning, eating with spoons, asking for things politely, vacuuming, touching meal worms and a variety of other things too. Ironically, if they DID their work, if would take maybe 2-3 hours. The Girl has been dragging 2 pages of math (seriously, I've been giving her evens and odds to do) to take 8 hours BEFORE she gets started on her other subjects. She has now lost all but a half dozen small toys, 5 clothing outfits and her furniture. No, really. It was an ugly day. The child STILL does not care. I keep trying to give her stuff back as a reward for making good choices, she has not actually picked any of them. She just.. Forgets.

How do you forget you have NOTHING in your room???

*sigh*

This week - for The Girl - looks like this (ignore the punctuation issues it's a quick print off):

Week of January 27-31

Monday – January 27, 2014 – Spelling 28 – review lessons 1-5,.  Spanish.  Book report = Please keep reading on your book for your book report.  Math 31 (evens) -32(odds). Math enrichment page 16, English 239-240 reading 88-89, Science,

Tuesday – January 28, 2014 – Spelling 29 - review lessons 1-5. Math 33 (evens), 34 (all) Math Enrichment 17,  Cursive Handwriting 12. English 241-242 . History, Reading 90-91.

Wednesday – January 29, 2014 -  Spanish, Spelling Test lessons 1-5, Math 35 (odd) 36 (all) Enrichment 18,  English 243-244. Geography. Reading 92-93,

Thursday – January 30, 2014 –  Spelling Pretest, Spelling 30-31 , Math 37 (odds) 38 (all)  Enrichment 19,  Cursive handwriting 13, English 245-246. Art. Reading 94-95.

Friday – January 31, 2014 -  Spelling 32-33 (Spelling test Monday) Spanish, Math 39 (all), 40 (all)  Enrichment 20, English 248-249 . Science. Reading 96-97.

The Boy, unfortunately, lied to me on Friday and told me his math had all been completed. Their father is supposed to be checking their work nightly. Guess who isn't doing any checking past the first week (and 3 days at that?)? So I found 3 math pages unfinished from him. When asked if he had double checked if the work was completed the answer had been yes - EVERY single time. So. Monday he has 6 math pages to do. If he does them without complaining, he'll get a long chat, since it should have been caught MUCH sooner (assuming someone else had done their job), if he throws a fit then we'll be having problems.


So, another reason posts aren't too frequent and tend to be somewhat riddled with errors - the day before Thanksgiving  I tore the tendon in my left hand and I also managed to get really bad nerve damage. I am currently waiting for them to schedule surgery, but they are taking their sweet, sweet time. I can't move or use the 2 little fingers on my left hand at all nor can I twist, pull, or lift much with that hand. It's irritating since it's been 2 months. Ok, *irritating* is perhaps the most benign word I have ever used in regards to this. But still.

See, it screams failure.

Week 1

     We are at the end of week 1 on our new schedule. It went SO smoothly Monday through Wednesday. Thursday it started to get a little slippery. We had Swimming. The kids got tired. Friday took a nose dive. *I* had a doctor appointment. Then we had to go to the pharmacy. Then my mom was home and sick. Then the girl had to do laundry. Then.. and then.. and then..  The kids ended up with more than a full days worth of work left. So, we spend ALL freaking day today (Saturday) making them do all the last bits of school work they hadn't done, correcting it, re-correcting it. ALL. DAY. They each ended up with at least 3 pages of math, spelling tests, Art, Science. So on. Then, they had to go back and error correct ALL the stuff they had done wrong they hadn't bothered to correct and the stuff they had done today.
     Even better? I was going to allow them to type out their spelling tests because writing is so hard for them. BUT, they started to use Spell Check!! I kid you not. I give The Boy his first word and he asks me if he spelled it correctly and I tell him he'll have to figure it out. He says, " Oh, I did. Spell Check says so." Oh, Hellz no! 
     Tomorrow, we still have to complete Art and Science. I'm letting them pick the topic. They've decided to rotate Boy pick, Girl pick and so on. Boy has picked arthropods for this first 2 to 4 week session. I know the Girl is going to pick Rocks and Minerals for her, so I can at least start planning on that. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous this upcoming week, so I may journey to the zoo and go on an arthropod hunt. It would be something to do one afternoon. I have no idea what the heck I'm doing with art. I may stick with what I've got going with the art book I've started and attempt to add more mediums or textures or.. Something? I don't know. I don't *do* art. The boy tends to follow me in that, the girl loves arts.
    

School Organization..

I'm attempting to organize the work the kids do everyday to help make the work they do be faster, more methodical, more practical, more thorough, and more consistent.

The goals I we are attempting to make this month are as follows:

*Spelling: Complete Unit 1 and be able to spell 85% of the words correctly and know the meaning of them.

*Spanish: Complete a lesson at least 12 lessons successfully.

*Math: Complete and correct errors on units 1 and 2.  

*Math Enrichment: Complete and correct errors on Units 1 and 2.

*Writing: Complete 1 book report on chosen book from list.

*Reading: Complete a reading lesson daily with a 95% success rate.

*Handwriting: Show progress by completing 8 pages in a legible manner.

*Science: Will pick one specific scientific item (fossils, minerals, bones, leaves, lions, skin,..) and successfully create a presentation on this item.

*Art: Complete a weekly art project to reflect different art styles and techniques.

*Language Arts/English: Complete the current book in 2 months. (The end of February.)

*History: Complete at least 4 lessons this month.

* Geography: Complete at least 4 lessons this month. 

These seem a little lofty compared to the entire last year when we had NO goals what so ever. The kids are very capable of this though. Then I took these goals and broke it into weekly/daily goals that look like this:

Monday – January 6, 2014 –  Spanish, Spelling Pretest, Spelling pg 6-9, English 208 read 210 do 211.  Math 1,2 Enrichment 1, Reading 92,93. Pick book for Book report. I will give you a choice of books.

Tuesday – January 7, 2014 – History, Spelling 10,11 English 212,213, Cursive handwriting 4-5. Math 3,4 Enrichment 2 reading 94,95

Wednesday – January 8, 2014- Geography, Spanish,  English 214, 215,  Math 5,6 Enrichment 3 Reading 96,97,

Thursday – January 9, 2014 – Art , Spelling test.  English 216,217, Cursive handwriting  6-7.  Math 7,8 Enrichment 4, Reading 98, 99

Friday – January 10, 2014 –  Science, Spanish,  spelling pretest, Spelling 12,13.  English 218,219. Math 9, 10 Enrichment 5, Reading 100, 101

I'll have these printed out for each kid so they can get to it easily and see it and hopefully learn to self-manage time. Right now they both need a lot of prompting to get things done in a timely manner.  I'm debating whether or not I should do the entire month or do it week by week to allow for variances that may occur. Whether or not to build in breaks for illnesses or play-days is a big question too.

I'm sure I'll find out after this week! Eeeek :)

New Year, New Grades

About 6 weeks ago, I explained to each kid what they had left to finish out the grade level the were currently in and what (exactly, specifically) they needed to do to finish the grade level and move up. We are at the deadline time. 1 child has finished. 1 child has made a half-hearted lazy attempt at throwing a pen at it and isn't even close to being finished. Is what I expected the lazy child to do hard? No. Is it time consuming? Not really. In all honesty, it could all be done in a matter of a few hours if they actually tried. 6 weeks. Not done. Not only is it not done. 1 of the 3 items that needed to be completed hadn't been started as of this am. The actual shocker - it's The Girl who has made no attempt to do the assignment! The Boy has completed his.

I made them both a clear, concise sheet of instructions. A clear time frame. A book of instructions for if they instructions *I* gave them were somehow unclear. Time and reminders DAILY of their assignments. Asked them frequently how it was coming along and if they needed help.

They had to finish their math books.
Pick a topic and complete a short research paper on that topic
and
Complete a book report on a new book or one they've already read.

She's in 4th grade for all purposes. These are not unrealistic goals. They were the last remaining items she needed to complete to show the skills needed to move up. *sigh* I brought up the need for her to finish her work this am, she starts stomping her feet saying she's not going to. I can't make her. She doesn't have to. Really??? You're right. I cannot MAKE you write a research paper. But there will be consequences for every behavior either good or bad. You pick.

The Boy's assignment was exactly the same, though I took into consideration he is working to complete 3rd grade. He had some grammatical and spacing issues that needed help - BUT - he finished his work.  His was on level for his grade. I let them both type their work since they have dysgraphia so it's just a matter of him going and making corrections. It's no big deal.  It's clear he's read through it.

I'm clearly doing something wrong. I just don't know what. I guess some would suggest catering to her more to make it *funner*. Honestly, I don't care if she has *fun*.  She needs to learn to get off her lazy bum and do what she needs to do in a timely manner. I know I'll get less resistance if she has *fun*, but last time I tried *fun* she pick and chose the parts she liked then became a mule on the rest. 

I am going to attempt to put her on a more rigid schedule. She does do better with that. The holidays always screw with scheduling and she settles nicely once things are more routine. I want to try to plan out the pacing better, they both took WAY too long on this last set of books. It took them almost a full year on each of their math books and this stuff isn't even hard. It's frustrating because they're just both so smart, but The Girl is so darn lazy! She even admits it's not hard, she just prefers to sit on her rump not doing it. She's got to figure out how to beat the lazy, procrastinator, messy demon living inside her now or she's going to have continuous problems.

OH My! Look Whose 9!!

This Girl:

She's come soo far from this tiny little thing:

See?? What happened to my wee baby girl! She got all big!!


Happy Birthday to my Princess!!