Mourning..

Today was SUPPOSED to be T1's first day of REAL school. The Big K.. But it's not. She's here with me for an undetermined amount of time. It could be forever or it could be just for this year. Seeing as how she is well into the 1st grade math book and reading and writing books already, she may never be content at regular age delegated work.  She HATES being around people and it seems to be getting worse. I am trying, desperately, to get her to pull out of whatever "THIS" is, but on that I may fail. Like, apparently, everything else I do with her. We have an appointment with one of her doctors tomorrow and start with a new occupational therapist later this week, hopefully something will eventually get us somewhere.

On the brighter side of it, THIS is her math page she did today:

 Adding and subtracting with absolutely no help from me. She did it all smoothly and quickly. I was impressed to say the least. Yes, we need to work on writing the numbers a little more, but she's 5 and supposed to be JUST entering kindergarten. And oddly, in the 1 week we have been working on writing, her number are exponentially better than they were.

The Weekend!

One full week of homeschooling down, a billion and a half to go. C did a science experiment today with 1&2 and they liked it. 1 also decided she NEEEEEEDED to do some math pages. I tried to explain to her that we were only going to do school MOST days, not EVERY single day of our lives. This little lesson was lost on her as she began to have a panic attack about that little plan. SOOOOO we did some pages and viola, the world was fine again. Sadly, I believe they have planned school work for tomorrow (Sunday) as well. It's great that they are liking it, but geesh can we say OCD?

SOOO another fun "adventure" is my mom staying with us. She's been here since Thursday and will be here until... well... she can walk. She had knee surgery so she is recouping..  1& 2 are staying in the same room to sleep in and surprisingly enough have been doing really well. 2 has a headache today but will drop off soon tonight hopefully, but the 3 hour nap probably didn't help anything either.

And we had our weekly Movie Night tonight. We watched The Emperors New Groove. It was your typical animated flick, but ehhh something to do that the kids think is "super awesome". And we made "the best brownies EVER". I wouldn't go that far, but for being made with black beans instead of oil and eggs they weren't bad. They aren't as fluffy but more of a fudge type brownie. So 1&2 were thrilled with a movie AND dessert. 

It's Started....

So we have officially started the whole "Homeschooling" thing. I'd say it's going okay so far. Abby seems to actually LIKE it. She asks for it. Pesters me for more even. I try to limit each "subject" to about 10-20 minutes per day and don't do every subject every day. Writing, reading, and math we are doing everyday. Music - which is consisting of piano lessons and practice - we are doing "most" days. Science we are doing mostly 1 day a week with a more of a hands on type thing and just answering whatever questions the kids happen to have in a slightly more in depth way other than.. "I dunno, the planets rotate I guess.."

Tweedle 2 gets more frustrated, more easily that 1. But he always has. With the motivation of a few neat-o stickers he has been fairly easily swayed to keep going. Plus the whole experience is more geared towards #1 for now anyhow. I push him until he's done then let it be.

To make things MORE fun, my mom is having surgery tomorrow and will be staying with us until she is healed enough to take care of herself and her house again. That should be an interesting joy.

To make up for the impending fun, Tweedles and I had a "Day of Fun". In consisted of a trip to Claire's for some clip on earrings (not for me obviously), a viewing of Despicable Me, and a trip to McDonald's for a happy meal and playing. Now how these items are "fun" I'm not quite sure, but the kids seemed to think they are. I figure I've made them adjust their normal routine completely and they've adjusted to it fairly well and not complained, it was a well worth it justification.

A new blog..

I'm starting a new blog, one separate from the kids pictures and stuff, because at times I feel rather verbose. And really.. The picture blog only contains certain information I want *cough* certain people to have.. and at times I feel the need to discuss things at length to be ok with whatever decisions I need to make.

The newest conundrum is a doosy.. Tweedle 1 and school. *I* think she will only have maybe a 10% chance of being remotely successful. And it's not because she isn't smart and brilliant and a great kid. She's just not "normal" and "not normal" just doesn't fly with TPS.. And after the little (ok HUGE) problem with her pre-k last year I am almost horrified to do that to her again. I think we have decided that homeschooling - at least for now - is the best option for her. Which was not in the original plans. She was supposed to grow up and be happy and love school and be brilliant and have tons of friends and never have problems. BUT, this is not how it's happening for her. She has been having panic attacks about the IDEA of going to school. MASSIVE panic attacks because she's worried that they won't let her have "alone time". Well, they won't. It's school. They won't let her sit by herself in a quiet room and play all alone. So I talked with HER about what SHE wanted and she wants homeschooled for now. When I asked her about it again later, when I agreed that she COULD, she said "I'm not worried about anything now, you aren't making me go to big school."

It solidifies the decision and it makes me wonder if I should do more to push her past her comfort zone. Knowing her though, if I push her too far BAAAAADDD things happen. Bowel obstructions, panic/anxiety fits, no sleep, not eating, generalized bad mood and overall just.. Not her.. Soooo it puts me in that place of not knowing if it's the "right" decision or not.. I KNOW in hindsight that sending her to full day pre-k last year was the WRONG choice and I KNOW that she is LESS stable - in a mood/mental place - NOW than she was then..

Now the next problem, I have NO idea what I'm doing. I have a some friends (and thanks heaves for you all..) who are great resources because they HAVE been here and are willing to help me. I have a good support group of stay at home moms that will probably get tired and annoyed with me (sorry about that now..). I AM good with plans, schedules, self-drive.. etc.. And she does VERY well at learning from me so I'm not worried about that per se... But there is also Tweedle 2 to contend with which is a monster all in of itself.

And then there is that tiny, selfish bit, that wanted her to go to school because she can be difficult. It's a very tiny sliver, and I was planning on working, at least part time, when she was AT school.. So this changes THAT as well.. It will change that it will be part time - most likely in the evenings only.. Which is ok cause its something I can do from home, but its just a matter that it wasn't what was in the plans..

Maybe I should introduce Tweedle 1. She is a vibrant, mostly happy, very smart girl. She also has a sensory integration disorder, severe anxiety, and most likely OCD. She has trouble being in a room "with people" (for some reason *I* don't count as people and usually her brother and dad don't either..) and has a very difficult time with noise. She needs an extremely LARGE amount of time "alone". As in ALONE alone.. In her room, playing, completely quiet.. We have her in occupational therapy and on some medications to help her sleep (because she wasn't for several months) and to help her control her moods better.