Family

We all have it to some extent and it's all in what we DO with it - especially after we are adults that makes it or breaks it, I suppose. My sister.. Let's call her ummmmm "J2" (vs J1 for the other sister) has recently taken on a project to TEACH other people how to "parent". Which, in theory, is a reasonable cause. There are some people who need that kind of course. There are some people who are forced to take that kind of course. And there are some people who lack any common sense at all. What I find strangely ironic is that my sister falls into AT LEAST 2 of these categories. And now that she's "Teaching" THOSE people (you know the ones she is magically better than) she feels she can criticize everyone.

Now, what I think she fails to realize is that parenting isn't a race, a competition, an honor, a mistake or any other odd descriptor like that despite what some people may say. It is in fact a CHOICE. In fact, it's a combination of LOTS and LOTS of choices. And the super crappy thing is: You don't get magical powers to see what the end result will be when you make the choice. You don't see what will happen. As cool as it would be, it just doesn't happen. I can name the biggest choice I've made for T1 I wish, with HINDSIGHT wish I hadn't, but - at that TIME - it seemed like the best choice for her. *shrug* Not a damned thing I can do with that choice now but try to fix the ongoing damage she still has a year later.

What I also think is odd, is J2 calls my parents and chews them out for THEIR parenting skills. DUDE... You are 32 years old. GROW UP. Get over it. They were young, stupid and did the best they could with what they had. So they made some mistakes. Get over it. YOU are making some mistakes. Do you want your kid to call YOU in 30 years and run YOU up the flag pole because you are doing the best YOU can with that you have? No, probably not.  *sigh* We all make mistakes. It's what people DO. It's the nature of the beast.

But no one wants to hear, repeatedly, how they screwed something up 30 years ago.  Good lord, I don't really want to hear - repeatedly - how I screwed something up last week. Heavens sakes I know I DID but *I* am already over it..

And maybe that's why J2 and I are not close anymore. Maybe I just don't like being reminded about how when I was 5, I made her cry about spilling a cup or argued about something or took someone else's side in an argument. Because REALLY. Who cares?

And now for your amusement..

BIRTHDAY!!!!

We are going to jump ahead from Seattle for a moment and attack T1's 6th birthday. Because, well, it is more important and makes people happy vs not happy... (Mostly me..) This is the FIRST year the girl has EVER had a decent birthday. There were no meltdowns, fits, screaming, hiding, throwing of things, sobbing over meaningless things, panic attacks that lasted forever.. UNTIL: After her birthday. We are still trying to figure out what the deal is with that.  I think a BIG problem is a little girl that T1 has become OBSESSED with (we shall call her "L") didn't show up. T1 has seen this girl literally 4 times in a year, but decided she was her BEST FRIEND EVER and would be loving her forever. But since school started, I've not been able to contact her mom, invited her over to play to no avail, invited her to the party etc with no response.


Some friend that is..

BUT... T1 is still rather devastated. We've had to do A LOT of talking about how we cannot control the choices of other people, that people are not puppets, and that we HAVE a ton of great people who love us dearly who would do darn near ANYTHING for us and screw the b*&^# who doesn't bother to like us.  Heartbreakingly enough, she had me help her write a "Break Up" letter to "L". We are still holding it, to see if we REALLY want to mail it (admittedly for a 6 year old it is really harsh but honest) or if we will be ok with just letting it go now.

Now, on to funner things.. CAKE!!

We had 2. 1 that I let T1 decorate all on her own:

And 1 that, due to my inabilty to use my left hand (yes, there is a story, and yes I'm sure you will laugh..) I baked and Sarah ( http://oursunnyview.blogspot.com/ ) did the majority of the actual decorating. Because I suck. Well.. I don't ACTUALLY suck at cake decorating.. I just do when I can't use 1 of my hands..

It was gorgeous. And demolished in tasty goodness. And no.. While it does appear odd, there is NO actual Bisquick in the cake.

She had a heap of fantastic friends come over and shower her with love and you know what.. Screw "L".. I don't care what happened, maybe you "didn't get the invitation", "didn't remember", or "had something else to do that night". I don't care. You broke my 6 year old's heart. Obsessed as she may be ( because I do admit it's odd), you could at least let her down easily and finally.

SEATTLE

So we took a trip (and still are really) to Seattle. C had a business trip and, stupidly, I agreed to bring the kids along and make it a "vacation".

Well some highlights:

1. The scenery is gorgeous. It's fall, the leaves are turning colors, the mountains are pretty. It really IS pretty.

2. The PEOPLE are a nasty mean sort that has "asshole" stamped all over them. Truly heinous. Extremely polite about it, but no matter how you dress up a donkey, it's still an ass.

3. There are NO children here. AT ALL. And apparently everyone hates them. Even when they are well behaved. And they fell free to be rude and nasty to any one who has any. Such as ask that they leave a coffee shop IF the child TALKS. yep.. That's right. Don't go to Lulu's Cafe if you have kids, they aren't welcome there, even though the OWNER has kids.

4. The rudest, most outspoken people, are the ones WITH kids. Confusion abounds with that one. Everyone else just looks at you like you are  a leper..


I'm sure I will have something good to say about this little hell hole of a place, perhaps when my hand isn't swollen twice it's size and blue again, have had more than 4 hours of sleep in the last 3 weeks, or perhaps C joins us for some of the "family" activities.. Who knows.. C on the other hand, loves it here. I did tell him he was welcome to move here, just without annnyyyonnneee else...

Stuff I've learned..

Stuff I've learned RECENTLY even.

1. By taping big ol' pictures on the wall it forces the kid's hands into a natural writing position and significantly helps strengthen their hands for writing.

2. "Brushing" is a technique I will apparently be learning to do on my kid and it seems a little weird cause it doesn't seem all that enjoyable to me.


3. My kids both had big gum balls but will not refuse them if offered.

4.  My spouse DOES know where the mop lives..

5. After about 3 weeks of no real adult contact, you get a little loony and start arguing with the physics of cartoons and the advisability of their ridiculous plans.

6. T2 thinks his Iron Man costume is "just like pajamas's".

7. I love spell check. A lot.

Stalling

That's right, I am avoiding being productive. There is an entire LONG list of things I *could* be doing and am currently SOOOO not. Laundry, cleaning the table, scrubbing cabinets, working on transcription stuff.  But, alas, I am not doing any of those things.. I am wasting time like it were free.. Which it so is not at my house.


 Anyhow.. Tomorrow is a great journey of the children's flu shots. Both of them.. At the same time. I'm not looking forward to it. Really NOT looking forward to it. It has been scheduled for OVER a month and I may dread it more than the kids. I believe bribery is going to be involved. Lots of it if I can avoid the inevitable screaming, kicking, crying, name calling, fit throwing fun.. Oi vey..

On a completely DIFFERENT note, homeschooling is going surprising well so far. (I shall recant said statement once I realize how epically I have failed BTW..) T1  likes math the best so far and has improved drastically in handwriting and reading. And oddly enough, I have heard SO many horror stories from people about their kids and their schools this year, that I'm not really ALL that sad anymore about the choice. Sure, some days I don't WANT to sit and explain why we have to hold the pencil a certain way 30 times.. BUT I would rather do that, then have NO ONE explain it to them. Plus T1 is using almost ALL 1st grade materials, which makes me happy and sad at the same time. It sets her up to have a harder time if she ever DOES want to go to a "real" school. But I'm not willing to say "Hey, honey.. Be a little dumber would ya..?" I don't push her and we work at increments she sets. I figure if she is setting the pace and SHE is ready for it, why hold her back. Sadly, she thinks this also has to be on Saturday and Sunday.

See I'm doing a marvelous job at stalling!

Another interesting tidbit to note, Prevacid will keep clonadine from being absorbed.. Just a little FYI...

And.. I REALLY Love it when the UPS guy shows up at my house at 7:53 pm and rings my doorbell. REALLY REALLY love that..

*ponders other items to help stall*

Sadly, I have run out of randomness for the current time.. :(

New Meds- Help or Hurt?

Sooo we had a psych appointment for T1 on Tuesday and the doctor added an anti anxiety medication to her already special combo of medications. She's 51/2 almost 6. Of course, enter self-doubt. Is this what we should be doing for her, medicating a kid so young. But then... I look at her waking up and having a panic attack in the middle of the night, several times a night, over something benign.. Stupidly benign at that. She's already panicking about her birthday  - that's in NOVEMBER. Will there be cake? Will her friends hate her dress? Will she get presents? Umm WOW! Not just wonder these things but full-fledged panic. At 2 a.m. Nightly. In September.

Now the side effects. We've started on a TEENY TINY sliver of a pill. The lowest pill they make and we are quartering it. Tiny I say. And she is bouncing around like a squirrel on crack.. We had to pull out the little exercise trampoline so she could stop breaking things WITH her bouncing today, which is special since she's a very low energy kid. And then suddenly..She laughs like a hyena. Which we were expecting, because last time we tried a different anti-anxiety med a similar thing happened (same kind of med, just a different one..). But WOWSA.. Hyperactive crack squirrel monkey!

Wednesday.. What an odd day..

Today has been full of interesting gems.. Well the whole week really has been... I'm finding myself saying things I have never EVER ever EVER wanted to have to ever say. Things like: "We do NOT wipe our bums on the carpet, we use toilet paper here."  And "We do not call Grandma piggie. I promise she doesn't think it's funny."  Now, even better, after each of these statements are issued a rebuttal is also. "But mommy, I did wipe my bummy... I just sat down to put my underoos on and scooted around a little.. I didn't WIPE my bum on the carpet." SO then I get to go back and edit the above statement and make a rule that we have NO wiping, scooting, scootching, rolling or otherwise placing your naked bum ON the carpet especially after going to the bathroom. And then went and got the bleach for the carpet.

Then we went this morning and toured a donut shop and saw how donuts were made. The Tweedles thought the tour was super cool. They even gave them a free donut.. Yeahhh.. So they sit to eat these nice, fresh delicious donuts and after 1 bite they both turn to me and say "We don't like these.. They don't taste like the others.. The kind we USUALLY get."  Hummm.. The stale, Quick Trip donuts? Odd how fresh donuts taste differently.. "Can we not eat these and get the other kind, the good kind, the ones we like..? Please?"

After doing a *cough* taste test of the offending donuts (had to make sure they tasted ok and it really was just the kids you know..) we headed out and well.. I got them each a stale donut and called it done. It cost ME the same either way, and well.. If they want to eat stale donuts and think that's yumm-o, well.... I tried at least..  I would gladly take a fresh one over one that has been sitting out for a day anytime..

And next time you get a bloody nose.. Just remember.. according to #2 "It's not bleeding, they are just fancy boogers."