Bleck..

So, it is now apparently, blatantly, blindingly, glaringly, ugly like obvious that a certain wee girl's meds are no longer working to their full potential. We are now on day ummm *counts on one hand then moves to the other* 6 I think it is, of playing "Tackle the defiant attacking child". This is really NOT my most favorite game of all times. BUT if I don't hold her she scratches herself and starts breaking things then starts to attack brother and me and it's just easier to get the basket hold going and hang on tight til the boat sinks.. And I can tell the meds are working SOME because the boat does eventually sink, and it only takes 15 minutes versus 3 hours. Now, the bad thing is as the week has been going on, they are coming easier and easier. I don't know if we got a bad batch of meds or if since she just went through a growth spurt she's metabolizing them like freaking mad or if they simply aren't working any more..


But, in any case, the day lasts FOREVER when you have to tackle said child, work through said issues go through the ensuing manic after phase and then repeat the ENTIRE phase about every 4 hours.. I mean.. REALLY long.. And I KNOW she's not doing "this" to be mean, or purely defiant, or to be hateful, or mean spirited.. She honestly loses herself in there somewhere and for whatever amount of time she can't seem to pull herself out of on top. She's LITERALLY not in there. It's hard to be mad at her for that. Annoying, hell yea.. But not mad, how can you be mad at a 6 year old who realizes she's bat shit crazy and is scared she can't control herself? She KNOWS she can't control herself and a little part of her knows that *IF* she acts a certain way, Mommy will take care of it. And she's right, I will. Every time - that is my job.  Not to mention we've made a Meds appointment for sooner rather that later with the guy, while no longer covered by our "in network" insurance knows HER and is the guy who originally got her settled and not the asshole who mocked her. That appointment is in a week and a half from now, and thankfully not a month.


In the meantime, I suppose we just have to hold on and hope she can pull herself together enough to not maul anyone.. Good times, good times..